Where is Mr. Lusty?

I went on a date the other night with Traveling Businessman dude. It was a second date and a second chance after we both botched the first one. Complicated, not worth going into. He's the one that I met on a flight and had felt lust for ever since. He has oddly cool gray-blond hair, gorgeous blue eyes, sexy lips. He comes from my hometown, a very small place where neither of us live now, so it was chance that we met at all.

I had high hopes for TBD (Traveling Businessman dude). I think he evoked a sense of place for me. He reminded me of high school boys I always had crushes on. His accent was like hearing the breeze through the trees back home. He just poked some sort of fire in me that I guess I never knew I had smoldering. I have been out of my home state for so long, and I definitely wasn't dating while I was married, so maybe it was just a big giant nostalgic head-fuck to meet this guy right at the beginning of my single life. It made me wonder if I should move back to that end of the earth to be closer to people I know and understand. Maybe I was pinning too many unrealistic hopes on this dude. The poor guy had no idea about all that was going through my head.

If the date were a movie, however, it would get a mixed review. TBD would get a thumbs up for being a fun conversationalist. He's quick witted, direct, funny. Very bright. I would not say he had the manners of good Southern gentlemen, but his etiquette was about what is expected of average guys these days. He checked in with me, made sure I was okay, comfortable. Paid for dinner. Opened the door for me.

But -- and this definitely comes from Cazadora, the lusty divorcee -- he gets a thumbs down in the passion category.

Now I know men and women play by different play books. Girlz are supposed to act coy and unavailable, while guyz are supposed to tone it down and stay cool. I say, this is a recipe for disaster. If both sides are acting disinterested... then no one's ever going to get together. I know I gave TBD good eye contact and smiles, etc. He did the same. We were both interested. He made some moves on me at the end of the date. I was glad to finally kiss those lips I found so delectable. But by the end of the night I could see we were probably better matched as friends than anything more. The level of passion I am capable of feeling outmatched his by far.

After a marriage that ended as a "passion free zone," I am not looking for Mr. Right as much as Mr. Lusty. I want to be kissed passionately and held. I want to know a guy would lose an hour of sleep if it meant spending an hour with me. TBD would probably make a great husband and father, for someone. I mean he was very considerate. I would be bored to tears, however.

It was my second big disappointment over TBD. It's hard to know why he caught my imagination so much, or even made my heart flutter a little bit. And it's hard to turn that off, even when I know, as deeply as I know anything, he ain't the one for me. And I know I barely know him. But I want to honor that deep place in myself that is all about knowing things.

What is a girl to do? I need to find Mr. Lusty.