The Law of Attraction

When my husband and I first broke up, and I moved out, I went a bit boy crazy. The funny thing is that I was never boy crazy in high school, college or my twenties. I liked guys, and all, but I really never learned how to turn on my charm and tap into that sweet energy that is female mojo. I had never looked at the world of men as my own personal playground where the game is a sexy round of tag.

Well, I guess I had beginner's luck. I charmed and flirted my way through summer, and had my share of success. Also, ladies, take note: I think a memo goes around once you get into divorce proceedings, because I found more than my fair share of men who seemed to know exactly the state I was in, and wanted to provide "comfort." Hot divorcee is no stigma, ladies, at least in this state. One of my male friends even told me it was okay to go crazy (I was kind of working my way through his friends... not on purpose or knowingly... but stilll!). But he was so sweet about it. He just told me to go crazy for two months, and then stop. "What do you then?" I asked him, desperately. "You go on actual dates and get to know people first," he said reasonably. We both laughed. Definitely good advice. I still had a month to go, he told me then. Well that was a relief, because I certainly wasn't done yet.

What makes me marvel is how in several cases I really was more lured by the hunt than the catch. I felt no emotional connection to several guys who seemed promising at first, but not after we had "intimate relations." Of course, I had two of them like me more after that, but instead the bedroom showed me that it wasn't going to work. I liked them less.

But, in several cases, what happened in the bedroom translated to stronger feelings outside. Even though I wasn't looking for a boyfriend or mate, you can't turn off that part of you that is hardwired to succumb to the law of attraction. My best friend is now dating someone she actively disliked for years. I asked her last night what was the turning point with him? "After we had sex," was her blunt and honest answer. Before they had sex and were just dating, she still wasn't sure she had feelings for him. But the sex was so hot and good, it's translated into very strong emotional feelings. Now they have a very serious relationship in which they really care for each other now, and I note, seem very well-suited for each other inside and outside the bedroom.

I think, however, that there is a part of me that needs that initial spark. That initial knowing. Something in the eye contact. I met a guy on a plane this summer, and I swear I had hardly laid eyes on him before I wanted to kiss him and rub my fingers through his chest hair. What was it about him? I felt like he cast a spell on me. His eyes were beautiful and his lips so kissable. It just did something to me.

He ended up being the one, however, that got away. And he was the one I felt the most feelings for from the outset. He wasn't particularly tall or buff or those things women seem to want. He had a great regional accent -- one that reminded me of home. He had a great sense of humor, seemed wicked smart. But why him and not some of the other guys I met? Honestly, only some naughty cupid probably knows. He's the one I also built up the most expectations around -- around who he was (I still am not sure I know who he really is), around what he might represent for me.

What I am excited about, however, is I may get another bite of the apple. He's coming back for work next week. And after an initial false start in which our wires got a bit crossed, I'm looking forward to seeing him with fresh eyes. To see if I still feel that hooked by those baby blues and that smile. To see what feelings bubble up this time.

You know? I'm open for it to go either way. I really don't think it will take a lot of work if I just succumb to the law of attraction.