It's nearly final.

My divorce papers were signed today. We took them to my bank. The poor young man who had to be our notary public. It was obvious how awkward it was for him. I apologize to you, sweetheart. That was a terrible moment for you to have to go through. Especially so early in the morning and before you had finished your coffee! Oh, the horror.

About my divorce, I feel confused. Seriously sad on the one hand. I had all my eggs in that basket, so to speak. And literally, really I had all my eggs in that basket. I had hoped my eggs would be a part of procreating with my husband. It was my only procreation plan, really. I guess right now, I still don't have any other plan involving my eggs. All my eggs were in that basket.

On the other hand, I feel like the weight of the world has been lifted off my back. It was, by most accounts, a marriage that ran at a low-grade level of comfort and discomfort for many, many, many years. We were married in round numbers about a decade. A decade of bad sex, misunderstandings, failed attempts at therapy, empty threats to leave each other, superficial attempts at patching things up.

What we lacked -- in my flawed analysis -- was problem solving skills for our relationship. What I had in tenacity he lacked in will. What he had initially in patience I lacked in wife skills. When I gained wife skills, he lacked patience. What we had too much of was compatibility. That's why we lasted 10 years. 10 years! Had we been incompatible, it would have last less than 3 years, max.

I will tell you -- just for your eyes -- I am still madly in love with this man. I love him like I love my left leg. I can't live without it. It's become a part of who I am. I limp when it is hurt.

However, unlike my left leg, my husband left me. So I am left without him. I am learning to walk without him. Luckily for me, I still have my left leg. One day I may think it's lucky to not have him. Today? Let's leave luck out of it.

I love myself, despite my failed marriage. And I love my good friends, my town, my life. My life is very big. My life is very full. My marriage was like a pacifier. It felt very good, but it really didn't satisfy me.

Enough said.